


Avoidance

by lattendicht



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Birthday, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, September 11 Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 05:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5572132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lattendicht/pseuds/lattendicht
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve realises that they hadn't done anything for Darcy's birthday, but finding out when it is proves difficult.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Avoidance

“Jane, when’s Darcy’s birthday?” 

Jane startled at Steve’s question, then turned to look at him. He leaned against the desk behind her and raised an eyebrow.

“Umm, I actually don’t know. The original internship was only meant to be for six weeks, and then we just kind of fell into working together afterwards. We’ve never discussed birthdays.” Steve gaped.

“You’re friends now though, surely you haven’t known her for years and not thought about it?” 

Jane wracked her brain trying to think of clues. “Sorry, no. It’s seriously never come up. She’s never done anything for my birthday, and I can’t think of anything that would have reminded me of hers. I’ve never even seen one of those stupid Facebook reminders or anything.”

Steve frowned, then thanked her and left. 

***************

Steve’s frustration jumped a couple of notches when he and Natasha discovered that partial birthdates were allowed on official paperwork. Any files on Darcy that they had access to only listed her birth year, not even a month.

“Seriously, how? Why is that allowed?” Steve slammed the cover closed on the SHIELD file folder they’d tracked down after deciding there had to be glitches in the electronic databases for SHIELD plus the DMV, Social Security, IRS, State Department and Immigration and Customs for both the US and UK. 

“There ARE people who truly don’t know exactly when they were born, Steve. Sometimes a year is the best guess. Maybe she was adopted or something and doesn’t know.”

“But to just leave it? Why not just pick a date? Do you realise she’s been living here for almost a year, and we don’t know this basic information about her?” He leaned his chair back and scrubbed his hand over his face and hair. “Jane says they’ve never exchanged birthday gifts or anything, and Thor took her to Asgard for her last birthday, so Darcy didn’t do anything this time either.”

Natasha raised her eyebrow and looked intently at him. “Why is it so important to you, Steve? It almost seems like she doesn’t want any attention, why push it and make her uncomfortable?” 

“I just think she needs something special. Even if it turns out to be ten months away, I just want her to feel like she’s part of the team. She works so hard for the science team, and helping out the rest of us too. And she made sure that my birthday felt like MY birthday, not just an add-on to the Fourth of July stuff.”

*******************

In the last week of August, Darcy started her lockdown procedures. She checked her privacy settings on Facebook, shutting off access so nobody could write on her timeline or send her messages. Over the next week, her Netflix queue was stocked with old favourites, she quietly built up a stock of junk food to tide her over, and she manipulated Jane’s sleep/work schedule to make sure that there wouldn’t be any work for the day. 

Before going to bed on the tenth, she initiated the final steps - turning her phone off and requesting a full privacy lockdown of her suite from FRIDAY. The AI assured her that nothing other than a medical or building emergency would override the settings.

As she had for the past few years, Darcy cried herself to sleep on the eve of her birthday, locked away from the world. She didn’t really know why - it wasn’t like she’d really lost anything in the attacks. Her parents were safe, they hadn’t worked in the towers or even nearby. They’d lived in Queens, she’d been at school two blocks from home. She never knew why she took the anniversary so hard, dates coincided all the time, surely in a city the size of New York, there were others who were born on September 11 and had had their birthdays taken over by a national disaster. But she hated it. The events on her 15th birthday had changed her city and country forever, and ruined her day. Even being in England hadn’t helped, because not only had the effects of those events stretched all around the world, but the problem was within her too.

Darcy didn’t like who she became on this day, so she locked herself away. When she was by herself, she could sulk and rage at the world and herself as much as she wanted, then soothe herself with ice cream and Oreos and The Princess Bride. She didn’t know if it was really healthy, but she’d worked out that if she indulged those reactions for the day, she could cope for the rest of the year.

What she didn’t expect was the concerted efforts of a team of superheroes tracking her down once they noticed she was missing at breakfast. By ten a.m. there had been a polite enquiry via FRIDAY, pounding at the front door, someone trying to get her attention from the balcony outside, and a loud squeal from Clint when he discovered that her lockdown measures included Tasers mounted in the vents.

Her brief message to Tony asking them to leave her alone for the day brought another round of door knocking. Even though the doors were reinforced to hold up to super soldiers and Hulks, those guys were still able to knock hard enough to be heard through her nice noise-cancelling headphones.

She got up and threw open the door, finding Steve standing there, his fist raised to start banging on the door again.

“Happy? You’ve seen me, I’m fine, leave me alone.” She went to slam the door closed and stalk back to the TV when Steve blocked the door.

“Darcy, what’s wrong? After you got so involved in the Battle memorial, I thought you’d want to join in with the event today.” 

She looked up at his worried face. “I can’t do that Steve, today’s different. Just please, leave me alone.” Her anger at the unfairness of the world and annoyance at his incessant knocking were fading into resignation and sadness, and all she wanted to do was lie down. She tried to close the door again, but she had no hope of moving it against his foot. 

“Did you lose someone? Jane said you grew up here, but she thinks your parents are still alive.” 

“No, they’re OK, they just moved to Vermont when I left for college.” At the mention of her parents, Darcy looked at the package on the table next to the door. It had arrived yesterday, like clockwork. And as usual, she was leaving it until tomorrow to even open the postal bag it came in. Big tears welled up and spilled over as she slumped into the wall. Steve stepped inside and wrapped his arms around her to stop her sliding to the floor. 

“It was my day, Steve! It’s so petty and silly, but I was fifteen, and it was my day! In Spanish class, if it was your birthday, you got really good Mexican candy and everyone sang Happy Birthday really badly in Spanish. And Kate and Sophie were supposed to come round for dinner, but we all got sent home and had to stay home to wait for our parents or notification or whatever. Mom and Dad both worked in Manhattan, and they managed to call home and leave messages, but they didn’t get back home for ages and I didn’t get my special dinner or cake because Mom was going to pick that up and I was home alone just waiting all day.” Embarrassed, she hid her face in his sweater while she aired her list of grievances. “And the next few years, everyone but my parents forgot it was my birthday. I didn’t get candy at school, or a stupid song. My friends went to family memorials after school instead of coming to my place, so we didn’t have the good cake, because there were only the three of us. At college, nobody asked about birthdays or anything until later in the year, and by then it didn’t matter.”

“Darcy,” he started, but she ran on into her explanation.

“I know it’s horrible, but I just want my day back. And I can’t have it, because there’s nothing you can do about thousands of people dying and the whole city changing and terrible things have happened because of that day and all I want is my birthday back. I tried to pick another day, but I just ended up being resentful and sad and angry on two days of the year instead of one. I tried going camping, getting away from cities and people, but then I was just mad and stuck in a tent. It felt like I’d been run out of town. I can’t be around people, because I’m not a nice person today. I don’t like myself like this, but I need to just hide and sulk today. I’ll be me again tomorrow, I promise.” She relaxed completely, sinking into his chest and twisting her hands in the back of his sweater. He moved backwards, half carrying her over to the sofa. He sat down in the nest of blankets and cushions that she’d made earlier, then pulled her down to sit next to him.

“You know, when I was a kid, I liked having the same birthday as the country. I mean, everyone came out and partied for me. Free fireworks were pretty good too. But after a while, it got old. The Commandos thought it was hilarious when they found out it was real, not some bad propaganda by the Army. And it really does feel fake now, for some reason. I guess I don’t know whether the time on ice counts, or not.” She squinted at him, wondering where he was going with this. “It’s not the same as having your special date taken over, but I’m just trying to say, I think I understand.”

Darcy nodded, then pulled her feet up next to her and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“So, have you seen The Princess Bride yet? We can start it again, I’m only a few minutes into it and I’ve seen it a bajillion times already.” 

Steve grabbed the remote off the coffee table and handed it to her.

“Nope, first time. Just try to keep the read-along to a minimum, you totally ruined Jurassic Park by reciting everything half a second before the actors.”

“Pfft, I did not.” She elbowed him lightly in the ribs as she set the movie back to the opening credits. “Though, if you really want me to ruin this one, I can find the drinking game that goes with it. If I explain the rules first, all the in-jokes will be spoiled for you.” Steve groaned, knowing that meant this movie would appear at team movie night sometime soon, along with Thor’s magic brew. But at least he’d get one viewing without Clint and Darcy acting everything out at the same time.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't actually know if NYC schools sent kids home or what, but it works in my head. 
> 
> Mostly inspired by the fact that my own birthday is now a memorial date, and it sucks, but it feels petty and ungrateful to whinge about it. So I'll whinge on the internet for all to see!


End file.
